You Know You're An Amateur Stat Boy When ...

1. You refer to your make-believe girlfriend as "My Lady"


2. You need a change of underwear after finding out some 3rd tier celebrity acknowledged one of your 500 tweets of the day.


3. You spend a minimum 8 hours on a baseball blog site pounding in non-sensical posts so at the end of the day your group of 7 Internet friends can chortle how the site got more than 1000 posts that day.


4. When you refer to your "Ex" you're talking about the girl you chased around the playground in 5th Grade.


5. Your knowledge of baseball is only surpassed by your ... well ... I don't know what it could be surpassed by because you obviously know everything there is to know.


6. You constantly beat baseball's dead horses because what you don't know about baseball could refill the Pacific Ocean.


7. You delight in insulting, disparaging, and ridiculing people because you can get away with it down in your basement where, you know, you can't get bitch slapped and really don't have to know a damn thing.


8. Your entire life revolves around a tiny group of like-minded folks who get can get together every day and talk about how stupid everyone else is. And of course take turns hitting the like button for each other because nobody else will.






AND WITH THAT ENDS THE 30-DAY RANT OF VODF. I HOPE YOU (Mike Scioscia's Tragic Illness) RECOGNIZED THE NASTY, OVER-THE-TOP BILGE THAT YOU FOLKS PUMP OUT EVERY DAY. AND I HOPE SOME DAY YOU FIND A LIFE THAT DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND HOW PSEUDO-SNARKY YOU CAN BE AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS. CARRY ON.


ONE last thing. Can't help myself. But it's news. Turns out I agree on one thing with Mike Scioscia's Tragic Illness. He is HALF the writer Jon Weisman is. (You do have TWICE the HAT SIZE though but i digress.) Don't let your kiddie friends talk you out of your day job. One trick ponies don't fare well in the real world. Once again the REAL sports writers work out of GRANTLAND. If you want comparisons that's where you should be studying. Not to mention Bill S. is the most successful blogger in the history of the world. This advice comes from a former award-winning, reporter, writer, editor and publisher. Good luck.